You don’t have to be outgoing, confident or the life and soul of the party to look fantastic in photographs.
In fact, some of my favourite portraits have been of people who’d much rather be anywhere else than standing in front of my camera.
They arrive at my studio looking slightly terrified. They tell me they’re awkward, hate their smile, don’t know how to pose and are absolutely convinced they’re going to be my most difficult subject ever.
And then, usually within about ten minutes, something changes.
They start relaxing. We have a laugh. They forget to worry quite so much about the camera. And we start making photographs they’re genuinely pleased with.
I’ve photographed hundreds of people over the years, and one thing I’ve learnt is that being shy doesn’t mean you’re unphotogenic.
So, if you’re looking for tips for shy people on camera, whether that’s for professional headshots, personal branding photographs or simply feeling less awkward when someone points a phone at you, here’s what I’d suggest.
1 – Don’t try to become somebody else
One of the biggest mistakes shy people make in front of a camera is thinking they need to suddenly become more outgoing.
They imagine they should be laughing, striking confident poses or giving the camera some sort of smouldering look.
Please don’t feel you have to do any of that.
If you’re naturally a little reserved, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with showing that side of your personality.
A thoughtful expression, a gentle smile or a slightly more serious portrait can be every bit as engaging as a big, confident grin.
The aim isn’t to photograph a different version of you. It’s to capture the person you actually are.
2 – Tell your photographer you’re nervous
Seriously. Just say it.
You wouldn’t believe how many people start a portrait session by apologising for being terrible at having their photograph taken.
There’s no need to apologise.
If I know you’re feeling nervous, I can adjust how we approach the session. We might spend a little longer chatting before we start, try some simpler poses or take a few photographs without you looking directly at the camera.
A good photographer won’t expect you to arrive knowing what you’re doing.
That’s what we’re there for.
3 – Start by looking away from the camera
Direct eye contact with a camera lens can feel surprisingly intense, particularly if you’re shy.
So don’t start there.
Try looking slightly to one side, towards a window or down at something in your hands.
Turn your head gently towards the camera when you’re ready.
This takes away some of the pressure of feeling like you’re being watched, and it can create some lovely, natural photographs too.
I’ve found that people often feel much more comfortable making eye contact with the camera once they’ve had a chance to settle into the session.
4 – Keep your body moving
Standing completely still while somebody photographs you is a fairly unnatural thing to do.
And when you’re feeling nervous, it’s even worse.
Your shoulders creep upwards, your arms become stiff and you start wondering whether you’re standing like a normal human being.
Instead, try making small movements.
Shift your weight between your feet. Turn your shoulders slightly. Take a step forwards. Put your hands in your pockets and then take them out again.
You don’t need to be constantly moving around, but these little adjustments stop you becoming frozen in one position.
And some of the best photographs happen between poses.
5 – Forget about forcing a smile
“Smile!”
Possibly the least helpful instruction ever given to somebody who’s uncomfortable in front of a camera.
The moment you start thinking about smiling, it becomes something you have to perform.
And forced smiles tend to look exactly like that.
I’d much rather have a conversation with somebody, get them talking about something they enjoy and photograph the expressions that happen naturally.
If you want to practise beforehand, try relaxing your jaw, taking a breath and allowing a small smile rather than forcing a huge grin.
You don’t have to show your teeth, either.
A genuine expression will nearly always beat a manufactured one.
6 – Give yourself permission to take a break
If you’re shy or naturally introverted, being photographed can be surprisingly tiring.
You’re concentrating on your expression, your posture, where to look and whether you’re doing everything correctly.
That’s quite a lot to think about.
So take a break.
Have a drink of water. Look through a few of the photographs we’ve taken. Change your outfit. Have a chat about something completely unrelated.
Sometimes stepping away from the camera for a few minutes is exactly what you need to feel more comfortable when you come back.
7 – Wear clothes you feel comfortable in
If you’re already feeling nervous about being photographed, the last thing you need is an outfit that makes you feel self-conscious.
Choose something that fits properly and feels like you.
For professional headshots, think about what you’d normally wear when meeting a client or attending an important work event.
You don’t have to suddenly start wearing formal business clothes if that’s not how you usually dress.
And don’t underestimate the value of bringing a couple of options.
Sometimes changing into a favourite shirt or jumper makes an immediate difference to how someone carries themselves.
8 – Ask to see the photographs as you go
This is one of my favourite ways to help somebody who’s nervous in front of the camera.
I’ll often show them a few photographs on the back of my camera during the session.
Almost without exception, the reaction is something along the lines of, “Oh! That’s actually quite good!”
And suddenly, some of that anxiety disappears.
They can see that the lighting works, their expression looks natural and they don’t look remotely as awkward as they imagined.
That little bit of reassurance can completely change the rest of the session.
Of course, not everyone wants to see photographs as we go, and that’s fine too. It’s about finding what makes you comfortable.
9 – Choose the right photographer
I could probably have made this the first tip.
Because the person behind the camera makes an enormous difference to how you feel in front of it.
Look for somebody whose photographs feel natural rather than overly posed.
Have a read through their reviews, particularly comments from people who were nervous or uncomfortable about being photographed.
And don’t be afraid to ask how they work with shy people.
For me, portrait photography is as much about making somebody feel at ease as it is about cameras, lenses and lighting.
We’ll talk. We’ll experiment. I’ll offer guidance when it’s needed, and we’ll work at a pace that feels comfortable.
You shouldn’t have to spend the session worrying about whether you’re doing it right.
Being shy isn’t a problem to fix
Here’s what I’d really like you to remember.
You don’t need to overcome your shyness to have a great portrait taken.
You don’t have to become more extroverted, learn a collection of complicated poses or magically develop confidence the moment somebody picks up a camera.
You just need an environment where you feel comfortable enough to be yourself.
And that can look different for everyone.
Some people relax by talking. Others prefer gentle direction and a little less conversation. Some want to see every photograph as we go, while others would rather wait until the end.
There’s no single right way to do it.
The best portraits aren’t necessarily of the most confident people in the room. They’re of people who feel comfortable enough to let us see something genuine.
Shy in front of the camera? Let’s change how you feel about having your photograph taken.
I photograph professionals, business owners, actors and creatives at my studio in Cranleigh, Surrey, and on location across the Surrey Hills and beyond.
Whether you need fresh professional headshots, personal branding photographs or a portrait that’s simply a little more you, I’d love to help.
You can explore my portrait sessions and prices and get in touch to arrange a shoot.
And don’t worry if you arrive telling me you hate having your photograph taken. You’ll be in very good company.
