A few years ago, I showed a client the back of the camera partway into a shoot.
They leaned in. Looked for a second. Then immediately pulled back. Repulsed.
“Oh no,” they said. “That’s exactly what I was worried about.”
I asked what they meant.
“I just look… awkward. That’s just my face.”
It wasn’t their face.
And it wasn’t awkward.
In fact, the photo was good. Strong eye contact. Natural expression. Flattering light. If you’d shown it to anyone else, they would have said the same.
But none of that mattered to them.
Because they weren’t seeing the photo.
They were seeing everything they already believed about themselves.
The real problem isn’t how you look
Most people think they hate photos of themselves because they aren’t photogenic.
That word gets thrown around a lot. Usually, as a fixed label. Like height or eye colour.
“I’m just not photogenic.”
What they really mean is this:
“I haven’t seen a photo of myself that feels right.”
There’s a big difference.
Because one is permanent.
The other is solvable.
When you look at a photo of yourself, you are not seeing it objectively. You are comparing it to an internal version of how you think you look. A version you have built over the years. From mirrors. From passing reflections. From the one or two photos you don’t hate.
Anything that doesn’t match that version feels wrong.
Even if it looks completely normal to everyone else.
You’re not used to seeing yourself the way others do
Here’s something simple, but important. I know this to be true.
You’ve spent your whole life seeing a mirror image of yourself.
Everyone else sees you the other way round.
That alone is enough to make photos feel unfamiliar.
Then you add in an expression.
Most people have a “default face” they carry day to day. Slightly guarded. Slightly neutral. Not quite how they look when they are relaxed, engaged, or in conversation.
A camera freezes a fraction of a second.
If that moment is slightly off, even by a tiny amount, it can feel exaggerated.
You notice it straight away.
A slightly tense mouth. Eyes that aren’t fully engaged. Shoulders held a bit too tight.
You look at it and think, “That’s what I look like.”
It’s not.
It’s just one moment. Caught without context.
Bad direction leads to bad photos
This is the part no one tells you.
Most people have never been properly guided in front of a camera.
They have been told to “just relax” or “give us a smile”.
Which is about as useful as telling someone to “just be confident” in a job interview.
So they do what most people do.
They stiffen up.
They overthink it.
They try to control how they look.
And the result feels forced.
If your experience of being photographed is rushed, awkward, or unclear, of course you’re going to dislike the outcome.
That is not a you problem.
That is a process problem.
Confidence is built, not switched on
The first 10 or 15 minutes of a photoshoot are rarely about taking great photos.
They are about helping you settle.
Getting you out of your head.
Giving you simple direction that actually works.
Small adjustments that change everything. Where to put your hands. How to shift your weight. What to do with your eyes.
Nothing complicated.
Just enough to move you from self-conscious to present.
Because when that shift happens, something changes in your face.
You stop performing.
You start showing up.
And that is when the photos begin to feel like you.
What actually makes a photo work
If you strip it right back, the photos you like of yourself usually have a few things in common.
You look comfortable.
Your expression feels natural.
There is a sense of connection in your eyes.
The light works with your features, not against them.
None of that happens by accident.
It comes from time, direction, and an environment where you are not being rushed.
Which is why quick, in-and-out photo experiences so often fall short. They prioritise speed over outcome.
And when the outcome matters, that trade-off does not work.
This is fixable
If you have spent years avoiding the camera or cringing at photos of yourself, it is easy to assume that is just how it is.
It is not.
With the right approach, most people go from “I hate having my photo taken” to “actually… I quite like that” within a single session.
Not because they have changed how they look.
But because they have changed how they experience being photographed.
That is the difference.
Ready to see yourself differently?
If your current photos do not feel like you, or they are not doing you justice, it is worth fixing.
Not just for how you look.
But for how you show up.
Your photo is often the first impression you make. On your website. On LinkedIn. In introductions that happen without you in the room.
It should feel like a fair reflection of who you are.
If you are thinking it might be time for an update, let’s have a quick chat.
You can schedule a free 15-minute Zoom call with me. No pressure. No hard sell. Just a chance to talk through what you need and whether I’m the right fit.
Because you’re not unphotogenic.
You just haven’t had the right experience yet.
